A scientist at heart

What defines a scientist? To me it has always been the questions. If you question what is going on and want to find out that makes you a scientist.

Questioning why things happen has almost defined me from a very early age. Yes all children ask why, but most eventually stop. I didn’t. I would ask why and then why about that until whoever was being patient enough to answer the first few questions would just walk away. I soon realised that the only way to assuage my curiosity was to carry out a series of experiments to determine the answers.

I can never quite clearly remember which experiment came first. The one that stands out most clearly and vividly is the car experiment. I had received a state of the art (to me) toy car that could cover any terrain. On the television advert it could be seen tackling plastic mountains and muddy puddles. It was apparently unstoppable. Well the cynic in me developed early. I would see whether this truly was unstoppable. I devised a series of tests. Toy cars, lego, cushions, pencils were strewn in its path, it clambered over them, cutlery, plates, soft toys, household tools, none would stop it in its inimitable path. It reached the wall, kept going, turned itself over and went back again. I had to devise a more cunning test. The cat was often my lab partner, although very rarely willing, on this occasion did allow the car to climb over her rumbling belly.

There could only be one final test left. The human test. Limbs were easily conquered so now it was the turn of the head. I laid down in the path of the approaching vehicle. It mounted my nose and eyebrows and went on towards the hair and it kept on going. It had succeeded! Alas there was one drawback. My hair had been so impressed by its endeavour that it had decided to follow it by wrapping itself around the wheels. The wheels kept turning, my hair hugged them in further celebration until they reached a point at which they could no longer wrap themselves further. The wheels kept turning. I then responded as many scientist before me had done. Achimedes had screamed Eureka and run down the road. I screamed something unintelligible and ran round the room in circles. The wheels kept turning. The burning sensation in my head was causing me to see red in front of my vision. The wheels kept turning. My father and brother entered the room and watched me run in a circle screaming as the wheels kept turning. My father decisively pinned me to the ground and switched off the car. The wheels at last stopped turning.

However my fine blond hair now resembled felt woven around the wheels. My father requested my brother to keep me pinned to the floor as he went and retrieved a knife. I’m still not entirely sure what I thought he was going to do but still continued to scream as he carefully cut the car away from my head. The screaming stopped although the burning pain still remained the red was diminishing from my vision.

I eyed the car. It truly could conquer anything. What a truly magnificent vehicle. It never quite worked as well with the hair around the axels but it remained my favourite possession for many a year after.